With 16 seasons under its belt, Grey’s Anatomy has seen a lot of friendships come and go. We’ve had the pleasure of watching the twisted sisters, Cristina and Meredith. Witnessed Callie and Mark become the ultimate BrOTP. Even Arizona and Richard gave us some of the show’s most memorable scenes.
But what about Mark and Derek? Although they make look like friendship goals due to their 20-year-history, they actually had one of the unhealthiest relationships on the show. Don’t believe it? Keep reading to discover 10 reasons why Derek and Mark aren’t real friends.
Derek Tries To Control Mark’s Dating Life
Season 5 saw Mark and Derek’s friendship put to the test when the plastic surgeon started a relationship with Lexie. At the beginning of the season, Derek forbid Mark from hooking up with Lexie because he didn’t want the younger Grey to get hurt. However, what he didn’t count on was Lexie seducing Mark and them starting a relationship.
Nevertheless, Derek punched him when he found out and they didn’t speak for weeks. Although Derek was probably hurt over the secrecy, this was a bit of an overreaction and a little unfair on Mark. A good friend would never try to control your life or dictate who you can date. Nor would they continue to lord past mistakes over your head to make you do what they want.
Mark Almost Killed His Pet Frog
Mark and Derek’s friendship almost ended before it even begun when Carol Shepherd announced Mark nearly killed his pet. In “Sympathy for the Devil,” fans got some insight into Mark and Derek’s childhood when they learned that Carol took the plastic surgeon in when he was younger.
When Mark and Carol finally reunited, she knew instantly that he was hiding something from her. Why? Because he had the same guilty look on his face similar to the time when he put Derek’s favorite frog in the microwave. Considering she speaks in a low tone, fans can suspect Derek doesn’t know about this. If Mark had killed his frog, they probably wouldn’t have grew up to be best friends.
Derek And His Grudges
If there was an award for the most resentful person, Derek Shephard would win it by a mile. While no one can fault him for bearing a grudge against Mark after he slept with his wife, there were times where his anger was unwarranted.
For example, after finding out Mark and Lexie were in a relationship, Derek got into a fight with the plastic surgeon. He then decided to cut Mark out of his wedding party by asking Webber to be his best man. Let’s not forget how he also brought this grudge into the workplace and allowed it to affect everyone professionally. No one would have blamed Mark if he decided to throw in the towel. No friendship is worth all that drama.
Mark Betrayed His Trust
On the other hand, Derek’s anger isn’t exactly unwarranted when you think about how Mark has already broken his trust in the past. When Derek told Mark to not pursue Little Grey, this was him basically giving the plastic surgeon a chance to not break his trust again.
Since this was the second time Mark betrayed him, Derek must have felt like the surgeon didn’t value their friendship as much as he did. If Mark and Lexie broke up, it would also put Derek in an awkward position. It just looked like Mark was thinking about nobody but himself.
Derek Doesn’t Believe In Him
Other than Meredith, everyone knows that Mark was Derek’s number one supporter. Mark always encouraged the neurosurgeon’s career and was the first person to have his back when another surgeon questioned his judgment. However, we never saw Derek give Mark the same courtesy.
For instance, when Mark decided he was going to put his name forward for Chief, Derek said he was delusional (“Great Expectations”). When Mark became interim Chief a few years later, Derek was among the surgeons who laughed at the idea. Considering they are best friends, Derek should have given Mark the benefit of the doubt, especially since the plastic surgeon wasn’t the same irresponsible guy we met in season 3.
Mark Relied On Callie More For Support
While Mark and Derek were the ultimate bromance in the beginning, the pair weren’t as close as they used to be by the time Mark died. Although Derek said Mark was his best friend, it looked like this wasn’t the case for Mark anymore as the neurosurgeon’s spot was filled by Callie.
Whenever Mark needed some emotional support, it was always Callie who comforted him. She was there for him during the Sloan incident, helped him through his break-ups, and encouraged him to go after his desires. Mark probably would have gone to Derek if the neurosurgeon thought about someone other than himself.
Derek Didn’t Care About Mark’s Happiness
When you go through a break-up, you expect your friends to be there to support you through the tough times. However, it appeared Derek never got this memo when he failed to show up for Mark when he needed him most. For instance, when Mark was going through his second break up with Lexie in season 7, Derek was nowhere to be seen.
In season 8, Derek knew that Mark and Lexie were still in love with each other and yet, he just watched them suffer. If Derek really cared for Mark, he would have done all he could to make sure his friend was happy.
Mark Tried To Sleep With Meredith
Considering Mark came to Seattle to patch up his relationship with Derek, he almost blew it immediately when he tried to hook up with Meredith. In “Where the Boys Are,” Meredith and Mark spend the day flirting as she assists him in some cases.
Although Mark was aware that Derek and Meredith had feelings for one another, he tried his best to get Meredith to move on. He even went as far as to invite her for a drink and badmouthed Derek some more. If he did end up sleeping with Meredith, this would have been the final nail in the coffin for them.
Derek Isn’t Sofia’s Godfather
One of the more surprising revelations on the show was the fact that Mark didn’t ask Derek to be Sofia’s godfather. In “Golden Hour,” Cristina told Meredith that Callie had asked her if she would be godmother to her baby. Ultimately, Cristina turned her down after Meredith got jealous.
Question is, why didn’t Mark ask Derek to be a godparent? If they are as close as we are led to believe, shouldn’t he have been the first contender? You can’t help but think that Derek would be offended that he asked Cristina considering she admitted she would only accept the title in name alone.
Mark Destroyed His Marriage
Mark was very lucky to earn back the trust of Derek, especially when he slept with his wife. To rub salt further into the wound, Derek found out that it wasn’t just a one night stand but a real relationship that went on months after he left. Then Mark dared to come to Seattle and make clear to Addison that he was trying to win her back.
He’s lucky that Derek only punched him because who knows what would have happened if he found out Addison was pregnant with his baby. A real friend would never betray someone’s trust like this. It’s so disrespectful.